response to michael

Hey Michael,

Your blog was funny to read this week and as you can see by the number of responses everyone is familiar with those commercials. Advertising that markets towards different genders is usually pretty obvious. Like a deodorant commercial for ax shows the guy spraying himself and then incredibly sexy women flocking to him like moths to the flame. This is clearly targeting men. On the other hand, a venus razor commercial for a woman will portray her as a silky goddess. This one is definitely to hook the female viewers. However a candy bar seems pretty neutral in is function. I can't say that men and women alike don't both enjoy chewy caramel, with nuts and chocolate so why go to an ad campaign that is clearly leaning more on the side of men. The ad company had to know that this might offend some women but perhaps they think it isn't worth adjusting over that. As you can see this commercial all stuck in our heads so maybe that was the reason we all remember it.

response to ashley

Hey Ashley,
i totaly agree with you about the gender and masculinty roles that men provide. I feel that there is a lot of pressure for men to act a certain macho way and that yes, a lot of times it stems from a male role figure such as a father. But, let's be serious what exactly is a real man? Who makes up these definitions? Gender influences begin at an early age and i think it's important to encourage kids to think for themselves instead of just copy what their parents do. They could benefit from the teachings of both of their parents and it is important to give credit to the single mom's out there raising good kids. My mom was a single parent for years and I give her incredible kudoos for raising 3 kids while still holding down a job and going to school. And through all of that she never made me feel like I was lacking a male figure in my life I simply embraced her as a figure of intelligence.

final blog post

This past weekend at my hotel bartending job I worked a very large wedding for a 22 year old girl. As usual we spent the evening gossiping a chatting about the details of the event. What do we think of the bride/groom, decorations, how much did this run them, will they tip extra? One of the female bartenders opened up the conversation about weddings and the subject of marriage which I found to be very interesting. She explained that she felt it was foolish for people to get married at such a young age when they still have so much to accomplish. "If I do get married I'll have the rest of my life to be that way,I don't know why everyone is in such a rush". I thought this was profound of her to say and she seems pretty enlightened on the subject. When I asked her to elaborate she explained that she thinks it stems back farther than a girl's twenties. Beginning in college kids our age often pick a major that has no practical application for a job. As a result upon graduation thousands of resumes go out with all the same general skills "good with people" "excellent organizational skills". They don't get the dream jobs that they see on television and thus they fall short of their adult careers that they'd always been encouraged to achieve. Reality hits hard and so in order to gain a sense of accomplishment they rush into marriage thinking it will give them the sense of adulthood that they are lacking in their current lives. I thought this was really insightful of her, and although I'm not sure I agree I think she makes a good point. What really fascinates me is the idea of a "dream" wedding and the wedding fever that seems to be sweeping the nation right now. There is an industry out there making an absolute killing on the institute of marriage. Dresses, caterers, DJs,bands, event planners, diamond merchants...you name it they can help make your special day into a wonderland. There are entire shows dedicated to this stuff that my Mom is totally addicted to. She watches some show called My Fair Wedding, which just portrays a wedding planner giving a somewhat taudry event a makeover and some show called Say Yes to the Dress. That show is entirely about women trying on gowns for their wedding. Imagine sitting through a marathon of that. During the one I worked the father gave a speech and he said that his daughter was planning this day for years and that he was just happy that he could make his little girl's dreams come true. I found this to be a kind of sad sentiment. While I certainly believe in celebrating big accomplishments in one's life there is too much pressure placed on the day and not enough on the marriage. Following my co-worker's argument, I feel that there should be more to look forward to in adulthood than simply a party where you get a ton of gifts an attention. When I hear that little girls have been dreaming of this day for their whole life it makes me dissapointed. They should be dreaming about the wonderful successes they will achieve eventually rather than the day where they get treated like a princess.

Week 5 response to Lauren

Lauren,
I know a lot of girls who are elementary ed majors and now that I think of it I don’t know any males. I think you made a good observation about school teachers for younger grades being “women’s work”. I think it may have to do with the assumption that females are more nurturing to younger children. In our minds when a child his young he/she needs mothering. When a child advances they are then eligible to have male influences of perhaps a high school teacher who is more suited for training them to be young adults. Personally, I think this is crap. I remember growing up and having some great male elementary school teachers who made learning really fun. I also get the notion that people consider teaching younger children easier than teaching older ones. They equate it to sitting on the floor and doing arts and crafts with young kids while older ones learn more valuable things. In actuality, when one is young they learn fundamental skills of life. That old concept that everything you need to know you learn in kindergarten is kind of true. You learn basic social, academic, and interaction skills and it’s instrumental that you have a good teacher. I think that both sexes are capable of teaching either level depending on their personal interest and that it’s wrong to think there is a genetic predisposition to a career in this field.

Response to Irene

Wow, what a cool topic to talk about. It’s interesting that you bring this up because lately it’s become a huge phenomenon among young people. It’s the new nicotine. Our parents tell us now that “back then” we didn’t know that the sun and cigarettes caused cancer but now there is no excuse. Yet, in traditional generational defiance we still aren’t listening. Girls in the spotlight are constantly getting hounded because of their tanning habits. So and so made the worst dressed list because she looked totally orange, or look how great so and so looked with that natural summer glow. But you never hear anything about celebrity men tanning and I’m sure they have just as much physical maintenance to keep up as the women. It’s probably just kept under wraps. It’s that guilty thing that we all want. We know it’s bad for us but who doesn’t love to look a little sunkissed in your summer clothes regardless of gender? There shouldn’t be a double standard for this look. We’re all stupid for doing it but we’re all entitled to it. In those commercials on television for the self tanning creams you always see silky bronze goddesses in loose flowy clothing enjoying their dyed skin (pretty unrealistic btw). You never see any of those products for men. Any kind of male maintenance product has to be packaged as either really tough and extreme or its end result will be to get you droves of hot women. If AX came out with a self tanner you can bet their advertisement would have 7 gorgeous blondes magnetized to the dude’s skin. Yet women are doing it to supposedly impress men. I’m sure you’re up to your eyeballs in lectures about tanning and what the hell you’re young so do what you want . I just want to say good for you for bringing up this subtle little stereotype that’s going on. Guys if you wanna get your tan on go for it.

Week 5 Eureka Moment

This week I’ve been keeping up to date with Abby Sunderland’s story. She is the 16 year old California girl who is trying to become the youngest person to sail solo nonstop around the world. She set sail about 6 months ago on her very own boat, and in an interview with ABC News she said "Every time I go sailing there are new challenges, and it's amazing. I love doing it. Being alone just adds to the challenge for me. It puts me in a position where I'm the only one there to take care of things."The publicity that her journey has drawn is of course tremendous, but very recently they lost contact with her in the Indian Ocean after she went through a lot of bad weather and she was lost for several days. Eventually her signal was located and she was rescued and brought back to shore. Now the commentary has turned from encouragement for the young girl to questioning about the whole idea in general. What kind of parents would allow their 16 year old daughter to stay out late at night, let alone sail entirely around the world by herself? This girl is pretty remarkable, and made it halfway to her destination yet all eyes are drawn on the safety risks for the young lady. I can’t imagine the same kind of concern would be held if this was a young boy who was setting sale. It makes me think of the damsel in distress fever that the media gets in this country. Over the past decade there have been a number of publicized cases of young girls’ terror. Stories such as the late Natalee Holloway who went traveling in Aruba on a Senior trip and was brutally murdered by 3 local men. The formula to publish this is to take an attractive young white girl, have her go abroad and watch the “poor helpless thing” becomes the victim of a horrific crime. When this happens America gets to turn to their daughters and say “see what happens when you step outside the nest”. Instead of being given the respect and homage these tragedies deserve the girl’s actions are ripped apart by the headlines.
Abby’s story is getting completely sensationalized by the media. Months ago plenty of people didn’t even know about this courageous young girl’s adventure and now that something bad has happened they are getting ready to pounce on it. It seems that a female victim lost at sea sells a lot more papers than a female captain. Society has such low expectations for teenage girls that they are only willing to report when they encounter a crisis and not celebrate her accomplishments. I think Abby is incredible and should be respected for her successes rather than scolded for trying. She is exactly the kind of woman that we need more of in the public, as long as the emphasis is placed on how remarkable she is.

week 4 response to

Prom night is historically infamous for a lot of young mistakes. We always associate it with doing rebellious things just because the kids are beginning to make that transition into young adulthood. It’s almost like our culture’s coming of age ceremony but with manicures and sweet flavored alcohol. So I kind of get the parent mentality that says we want to protect our daughter from getting into any kind of trouble because we know this is a high risk night for teenagers. Of course I don’t have any children so I have no idea how it would feel to be in this position but it seems to me that I would have the same amount of trust in all of my children regardless of their gender. Women have long played the part of the baby sister that needs protecting and it’s understandable for any caretaker to want to shield their child. But I believe that boys and girls are both at risk for different peer pressure and that if you raise an assertive child they will most likely handle themselves in bad situations. I can see both sides, you want to protect your baby but you want to be fair about your ruling. Perhaps women are sometimes physically weaker than males in some situations but I believe it runs on a case by case basis and each child is capable of doing different things. It was nice of you to work your Mom over a little bit because you are absolutely right. She’ll never have the opportunity to learn if you don’t let her feel it out for herself.

week 4 response to dawn

Hey Dawn,
Your post cracked me up and I asked my girlfriend if she had ever seen the show, since she has a guilty secret addiction to junk television. As soon as I mentioned it she went off just like you did about how ridiculous the premise is. Bridal Bootcamp, are you kidding me? The things you described sound egregious to me and I think it’s sickening that their ultimate goal is to look trim at their wedding. You’re so right, what about health and what about personal wellness? Why is it that all these makeover shows that transform so called frumpy ugly ducklings are hailed for making women’s dreams come true? I think it’s sad to have an entire show dedicated to such a pathetic goal. The wedding culture as it is has completely spun out of control and has become so much about image. Again we see that the image is focused on the female instead of the bride. You ladies have to go and sweat it out doing lunges and sit ups for 6 weeks when all us guys have to do is shave and pop a tic tac. It doesn’t seem fair, and this show sounds pretty ridiculous. I also agree with it suggesting that there is something mentally unstable with heavier girls. Fat in this society is becoming completely pathologized, it’s like youre crazy if you aren’t working your ass off to be thin. Thus, if you aren’t a size 6 wedding dress you must be depressed, lonely and self deprecating— go on our show and we’ll shrink both your mind and your waistline.
It’s nice to hear that your young daughter is bright enough not to give into this kind of peer pressure because it’s a bunch of sexist propaganda. Interesting reality tv post, I’m going to have to watch this with my girlfriend now!

week 4 eureka moment

This week's eureka moment has a lot to do with our behavior in casual settings. There was a conference of sorts at the hotel that I bartend at. I don’t recall what the organization’s purpose was but the group was comprised of about 40 adult males. They were having a cocktail hour and everything seemed fairly tame until it came time for a speech that the head of the organization, a much older guy, was delivering. He led in with a joke. It was good for breaking the ice, something about selling a car with too many miles and it grabbed the audience’s attention with some chuckles. The little old guy decided to step it up to the next level and the jokes became much racier. The last one that he told I found to be downright offensive. He gave a much more detailed more suspenseful and dramatic rendition of it, but I’ll just give you guys the short of it. A woman comes to the doctor with black and blues all over her body and explains that every time her husband comes home he beats her. (Right away eyebrows were raised, where is this guy going?) The doctor tells her to take a big gulp of sweet tea and swish it around in her mouth until her husband falls asleep at night. She returns to his office a week later looking fresh and healthy. She says “my husband hasn’t come near me since I took your advice” to which he replys “see how much it helps when you keep your mouth shut?” The room exploded in laughter, and you could tell that the joke teller was quite impressed with the response. Both my male and female coworkers and I even chuckled because of the punchline, but now that examine the situation I see how horrible our laughter really was.

The first eureka thought that I had here was about how inappropriate the joke was. Acts of violence against women are by no means funny. Domestic violence is a serious problem in our society and I believe no person deserves to be abused and that physical violence is wrong. I imagine that if you asked a stranger, male or female, on their own if they thought that someone beating up their wife was funny they would likely disagree. But this is the place that the discrimination is really born. We know that statistics about abuse against women are monumental, and I consider men who abuse women to be weak and cowardly. So what then is someone that takes part in laughing at the situation? A joke like this reinforces social norms that women should be subservient to men, and moreover that their suffering is actually comical. I look at the group think mentality of this situation and realize that it is easier to us to stand up to gender inequality when everyone else is going with it. If I could take it back I would not have chuckled at all at the joke, and probably would have overcharged the old guy on his dry martini's.

week 3 response to ashley

Ashley,

i think you had a cool experience at work, and it's interesting to see someone put these concepts of gender into practice. There's some definite playing with gender roles here and i think that it is especially good with young kids to do this kind of thing because they are among the most susceptible and also the most innocent of biases about males and females. I could see an agency getting a little annoyed at your action, only because their mindset isn't as forward as yours but I'm really glad the mother had a positive reaction. I believe even more than peers and educators children are influenced by their parent's opinion of gender. It's up to the rising generation to really take action against the binary roles that society tries to relegate them to but it's up to us adults to set that in motion. Nice work Ashley!

week 3 response to nicole

Nick T. said... I finally had to see what everyone was talking about when it came to these Housewives shows because they have become something of a phenomenon. Nicole, your interest in psychology shows in your analysis of this series and after viewing it myself I have to agree. Its like one of those horrible accidents that is sickening to look at yet impossible not to rubberneck at. Their behavior towards one another is terrible and although they seem to be trying to achieve the "blank" housewive cliche of whatever state it is they are perpetuating a message about women that is even more powerful. What I got from that show was that these women feed off of drama. The littlest things send sparks flying, and the fights are usually about someone breaking some kind of lady like code. (you didn't send me a card when my baby was born! you didn't invite me to your dinner party) The confessionals to the camera have brought gossip to an entirely different level. So as you commented, why are these shows so addictive? What is the secret ingedient in what i call class-trash television? They might have nice hair, clothes and makeup but their interpersonal relationships are less than glamorous. I think it is the seething arguments, the backspin and cattiness that women in particular are so drawn to because it allows them to celebrate what they so often experience in their own lives.

Week 3

My "eureka moment" for this week comes from a series of experiences my girlfriend has had at her new job as a waitress at a country club. Located in an affluent section of North Jersey, the club's membership is comprised mostly of white males who are wealthy enough to afford the $25,000 membership fee. This place has become something of a fascination to me as I find many of their customs to be wildly sexist and outdated.
Most interesting to me, is the structure that the dinning service is organized with. There are three differenent areas for eating including: a banquet hall for large events, a grill room for casual lunch and dinner meals, and a place called the Gentleman's Quarters. This area is designated for men only. Female members, servers, and even chefs are prohibited from even entering the room at all times. The food and banquet manager herself, a female, who has been gainfully employed at the club for over 20 years is not even permitted to enter the Gentlemen's Quarters. The practice completely blew the mind of my girlfriend and I. How is it in that in this age such a place is socially encouraged by this seemingly classy group? When she inquired as to the reason for this ban the other servers explained that the activity that transpires in the quarters is not considered suitable for ladies to witness. In other words, the he-man-woman-haters-club needs a private place to drink, gamble, and allegedly trade drugs without the presence of their nagging wives. The other staff found this to be completely commonplace. But most agrivating to my girlfriend is the tipping advantages that are afforded to the male servers that work these events. Although there are a number of events for all the servers to make money at, the lunch and dinner GQ shift is famed for being the most lucrative. The guys can often pull in an easy $100 while waiters who work the regular grill room often come away with $30 - $60 a day.
Such blatant segregation seems pretty absurd to me. But it made me consider why such behavior is tolerated. Wood comments that, "Historically American men have been less involved than women in gender movements. In part, this is because white heterosexual men already have the rights and privileges that many of the women's movements continue fighting to gain" (Wood, 95). Certainly there is something to be said for the sexual majority ruling and I'm sure that money in that kind of quantity can change a lot of circumstances. But I believe the real reason this continues to go on is because if women were included in the scandalous behavior that the men engage in it would challenge the very role that many of them believe they should be assigned to. What kind of super-mom can clean the house, feed the kids, and still have time for a game of high stakes poker? The answer in their world is that only the supermen have time for this kind of luxury. Perhaps they feel they are the only ones who deserve it. When you really boil it down, there isn't a whole lot more to expect from a sport whose acronym traditionally stands for "Gentlemen Only Ladies Forbidden."