My "eureka moment" for this week comes from a series of experiences my girlfriend has had at her new job as a waitress at a country club. Located in an affluent section of North Jersey, the club's membership is comprised mostly of white males who are wealthy enough to afford the $25,000 membership fee. This place has become something of a fascination to me as I find many of their customs to be wildly sexist and outdated.
Most interesting to me, is the structure that the dinning service is organized with. There are three differenent areas for eating including: a banquet hall for large events, a grill room for casual lunch and dinner meals, and a place called the Gentleman's Quarters. This area is designated for men only. Female members, servers, and even chefs are prohibited from even entering the room at all times. The food and banquet manager herself, a female, who has been gainfully employed at the club for over 20 years is not even permitted to enter the Gentlemen's Quarters. The practice completely blew the mind of my girlfriend and I. How is it in that in this age such a place is socially encouraged by this seemingly classy group? When she inquired as to the reason for this ban the other servers explained that the activity that transpires in the quarters is not considered suitable for ladies to witness. In other words, the he-man-woman-haters-club needs a private place to drink, gamble, and allegedly trade drugs without the presence of their nagging wives. The other staff found this to be completely commonplace. But most agrivating to my girlfriend is the tipping advantages that are afforded to the male servers that work these events. Although there are a number of events for all the servers to make money at, the lunch and dinner GQ shift is famed for being the most lucrative. The guys can often pull in an easy $100 while waiters who work the regular grill room often come away with $30 - $60 a day.
Such blatant segregation seems pretty absurd to me. But it made me consider why such behavior is tolerated. Wood comments that, "Historically American men have been less involved than women in gender movements. In part, this is because white heterosexual men already have the rights and privileges that many of the women's movements continue fighting to gain" (Wood, 95). Certainly there is something to be said for the sexual majority ruling and I'm sure that money in that kind of quantity can change a lot of circumstances. But I believe the real reason this continues to go on is because if women were included in the scandalous behavior that the men engage in it would challenge the very role that many of them believe they should be assigned to. What kind of super-mom can clean the house, feed the kids, and still have time for a game of high stakes poker? The answer in their world is that only the supermen have time for this kind of luxury. Perhaps they feel they are the only ones who deserve it. When you really boil it down, there isn't a whole lot more to expect from a sport whose acronym traditionally stands for "Gentlemen Only Ladies Forbidden."
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Wow that is crazy. I have heard of country clubs being segregated but it really makes you wonder what they are doing behind closed doors. I know back in the day there were gentleman's room where they would go and smoke cigars and drink brandy but that is so outdated. Reality is that women do those same things and it is becoming a problem because clubs such as these don't provide special areas for females. There is club by my house for the longest time that only allowed white christians to join. Once they realized they could make more money by allowing other people to come in they invited other ethnic groups and religions. It is rather sick like the skulls, an underground society where boys rule.
ReplyDeleteHi Nick!
ReplyDeleteI can't say I'm shocked that these "GQ" rooms still exist, especially among the 'rich and famous' jetset. But, really even Yale's secret Skull and Bones Society "taps" 15 men AND WOMEN from Yale's junior class each year (the last one was April 15th). This 'power elite' can use any of the member facilities for life and are expected to donate 1/3 of their estate back to the society upon their death. While $25K a year for a country club membership in North Jersey isn't quite the same caliber - perhaps the skulls have more 'class'. This group of guys probably generationally promote the exclusion of women. Like Wood states on p. 18..."...where deeply ingrained values and beliefs reside, we may hold some very traditional values and beliefs." If their membership or governing board of the club allows this discriminatory practice to continue simply out of club tradition, it's absurd. The perpetuate the 'secrecy' of the room by only allowing male servers, and by tipping them so well, basically buy their silence. Not for anything, why do the women members allow this to continue? Do they just go about their own lives and brush this off as a 'stupid guy thing'? Why haven't the women servers organized themselves, looked into an affirmative action case? There are a number of cases out there (especially in California) where women who were denied tips because of discrimination were awarded financial restitution because of bad practices. I'm not so angry or shocked so much at the men that belong and allow this practice to continue but the women who look the other way and don't do anything to stop it!